Alonius Bundyerellus Syndrome



I awoke this morning with a heavy heart. Another day passed and… well, another day was now part of my past. It had left me without much warning. Stepped off into the darkness with the sun that it had bought with it that morning. Ran off with my hopes and dreams. Slipped away from my fingers that had not held on strong enough, not understanding the value of what could have been. The potential for change, transformation, meaning, hope or any other cliché standard of something important… is no longer. This morning, technically with the same potentials, seems less momentous than yesterday. Yesterday, which is no longer with us. Now gone forever was that day that I could have made myself into someone great. Today… well today is just not THAT day. It is not the same. I missed the boat. Yesterday… The earth was primed for growth and development then. The soils soaked with fuel, awaiting a spark to burst forth with flames of significance, but I sat on the sidelines and did not provide that ignition. The soils now dry. I left the doors of opportunity unopened, un-entered and I found them sealed this morning. Yesterday was supposed to be the beginning of me… who I was supposed to be. What I was supposed to be. I am now forced to wallow in the knowledge of this sacred day that I sullied. Took for granted. Abused. I will now forever live in the regret of not cherishing… Yesterday. And now, all I have to look forward to is a bunch of todays. Woe is me.


Alonius Bundyerellus Syndrome

Pathology: Characterized by constant regret of what could have been and lamentation of past mistakes while in absolute denial of reality of situation at hand (i.e. today, tomorrow, life ahead).

Treatment: Slap in the face with palmar surface (back of hand may be overkill).  Studies have shown that splashing face with water, opening eyes widely and having friend say ‘you are being stupid,’ have significant impact on resolution of disease process. Factors that worsen illness include listening to R.E.M., eating ice cream for breakfast and watching Pat Robertson on the 700 club.

(Picture of long term sequalae shown below)



~ by Yousaf on November 11, 2009.

3 Responses to “Alonius Bundyerellus Syndrome”

  1. Do you have to be a doctor to treat it? I think I would only prescribe big doses of the treatment 🙂

  2. Q: what did the five fingers say to the face?

    A: “SMACK”

    Ammar- you’re never allowed to smack to anybody cus you would kill them… Your only allowed to poke.

  3. ah for yesterday , if it were only today 😉

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