I have not blogged in a while which makes me disappointed in myself. Issa has been carrying the weight for the blog and iA he continues to do so. My internal medicine rotation has owned most of my time but here we go.

I leave for Ghana this Saturday for a medical elective in the Kumasi South Hospital and I plan to blog about my experiences there but before that I must discuss the Fort Hood shooting. I have absolutely no idea how to even discuss this topic because I feel as though any words that drivel out my mouth sound like a talking point. Never have I been so discouraged to silence that I fear that I may not be sincere about my sincerity ??? That doesn’t even make sense. But this is what I am talking about…

I feel as though I have to put disclaimers about the disclaimers I make BEFORE I EVEN SAY ANYTHING! If I say how I feel, I must put a disclaimer so some Rush Limbaugh-listening idiot doesn’t call me a sympathizer and if I state how I think, some half ignorant, ‘rush to judgment’ jerk face will call me a hypocrite. So instead, before I start… I am just going to start. CATHARSIS!
When I heard what happened at the base the following thoughts went through my head:
‘That is really sad.’
‘I hope it is not a Muslim guy.’
‘ I hope everyone is okay.’
‘I hope my Muslim brothers and Sisters in the Army are safe.’
‘This guy must have had some psychological issues.’
‘No wonder everyone hates us.’
‘Screw you Rush Limbaugh.’ (I flipped through the radio stations to think this one)
‘Why would somebody do that?’
‘Why do Muslims keep doing stupid things like this?’
‘When are people just going to pick up a book and read?’
‘I hope there is no backlash.’
‘I pray no Muslim leader says something obtuse.’
‘Not again.’
I know that some say ‘there must be something innately wrong in the religion of these people for them to do this,’ and I could reply with the completely logical argument that ‘just because a guy is Muslim doesn’t mean he represents the religion….’ BUT honestly, I understand the sentiment. If I saw a bunch of events, back to back, carried out by individuals who were not only joined by
a common ideology but declared that the reason they were doing such things is because they were told to do so by there belief system… it’s a hard sell. What makes this situation even more frustrating is that beyond the innocent, confused, curious citizen, you have a wave of hate-filled, commercial, cult-like opportunists who spew their caustic vomitus at anyone they see vulnerable i.e. every other normal, God-fearing Muslim in this country and around the world. Beyond that you have people in our own Muslim community who maybe don’t feel so bad when things like this happen. And it makes me sick, sad and surprised.
I am left annoyed. No clear answers as to what to say or do. Islam is what
drives me to be a good person, be kind to my countrymen, be honest and hardworking. America, fortunately, is threaded with the same concepts of generosity, unity and justice. Both these aspects of my being recognize that peace is ideal but that sometimes arms are called for to protect the innocent, liberty and fairness. Both put the onus on the individual but pride community and a sense of brotherhood. America, as it exists, precludes the existence of a Creator, a higher power, Allah. Islam is the perfection in ideology and practicality of that understanding.
I went to the last game of the World Series last week and was actually moved to tears when I was listening to and singing the National Anthem with Mary J Blige and the crowd full of Yankee fans (possibly the best rendition of the national anthem I have ever heard). I can not put my finger on why.
It may be because I feel like country is the only place where I can actually practice my religion and be proud of it. Or maybe that chill up my spine was instead the manifestation of the overwhelming fear of this growing hatred of Islam in this land I grew up in. Probably both.
I high fived complete strangers sitting around me when Matsui hit a home run. Joked with a random fan to my right about how the crackerjack guy said crrrrracka–JACK! Sang, in my miserable voice, ‘God bless America’ during
the 7th inning stretch and meant it. Chanted ‘Whose your daddy?’ at Pedro Martinez with thousands of the Yankee faithful who did not give a hoot about what I believed, the size of my beard or what I happened to share in common with the shooter at Fort Hood. I realized most people do not really have an opinion about anything and just want to live. Live normal lives filled with the normal stresses of life. Bills, relationships, children, community, safety, illness. They do not want to deal with the added fear of some guy, who believes in something he doesn’t understand, who will shoot up a crowd of people who don’t even get what all this hate is about anyway. Everybody seems a little scared and there is little I seem to be able to do to lift that blanket of apprehension that envelopes them… especially when every time I seem to start lifting the covers , some guy named something Muslim goes ahead and tucks them into their bed of trepidation even tighter by killing more people. More people. It is a scary thing when it becomes just ‘more people’– that means that somebody lost someone who meant the world to them. Some great love, snatched away. Some shoulder to lean on, no longer available. Somebody’s ‘baby,’ has died.
This post may seem all over the place because it is. I have proofread it like 14 times but cannot seem to capture everything that I feel needs to be said. This guy was crazy. Whether he psychologically ‘broke’ after years of dealing with PTSD or he actually thought he was doing something for his Lord… He was absolutely insane and… I feel bad for him either way. I feel bad for those who he killed… for their families… for the people who now feel unsafe every time a brown guy walks into a room and for the brown guy who gets funny looks when he walks into that same room. I feel pretty bad for those who understand and are frustrated, and those who don’t know and are equally as frustrated. Actually the only people I really don’t feel anything for are those who use this tragedy as a chance to exploit, misguide and hurt.
I am reminded of a verse in the Quran that brings me some comfort…
And indeed We have created man, and We know what he whispers to his own self. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein . (50:16)
It is a comfort for me to know that the One who will be the ultimate judge of all these events, has complete knowledge of everything that happened and why it unfolded the way it did. It is also He, who knows what is in the hearts of the man who fired his weapon upon the seemingly innocent AND He who knows what is in the hearts of us bystanders who react one way or another.
Just like I did not have any clue on how to start this post…


What is your intention of reading this post? Are you reading this site purely for the sake of Allah s.w.t and for the sake of knowledge to better yourself as Muslim? Or, are you reading forward to find out some more information about Islam so you sound smarter and can say that you are more knowledgeable than your friends? I really hope you are reading my contributions to this blog on a frequent basis for the former and not the latter. The purpose of this post though is to remind myself first and then the rest of us all about one of the most important aspects of our deen, our intentions.

Du’a is hands down one of the most powerful tools in Islam. If you ever wanted to speak to your Lord and Creator, Allah (S.W.T.), then Du’a is your link. Unfortunately, a number of us Muslims are not properly educated in the area of making proper Du’a. In order to understand the proper rites of making Du’a, we must first ask a basic question; what is Du’a? Du’a is one of the best acts of worship and a sign of Eman, which brings us closer to Allah (S.W.T.). Du’a is important because it is a sign of one’s Eman. We are a servant of Allah (S.W.T.) and so Du’a humbles us by asking Him for anything we want and showing our true dependence on Him for everything. Du’a is so important that is even said to be the brain of ibada! One of the beautiful and best parts of making Du’a is that you can never make enough or ask for “too much”. If you were to continually ask a good friend for favors over and over again, while not giving much in return, surely, that friend would eventually become fed up with you. On the contrary, Allah (S.W.T.) wants us to continually ask Him for our needs both in this life and the Hereafter. Unlike this friend who would be annoyed at your constant asking, Allah (S.W.T.) would become furious if you did not ask Him for your needs! Du’a also is a sign on one’s Eman, brings us closer to Allah (S.W.T.), is a sign of humility, repels Allah (S.W.T.)’s anger, a cure for all diseases, a sign of wisdom, a beloved act by Allah (S.W.T.) and has a guaranteed reward. But can you imagine a being becoming angered at you for not asking Him for anything?! Now you can, because Allah (S.W.T.) wants you to ask, and ask for more.






nd months from now, when Ramadan will be a vague memory. Remember, even in surat Al Muzzamil, we aren’t told to stand the whole night in prayer, just some of it, even half of it. If you can’t do either of those two amounts, Allah (s.w.t.) told us to even stand for than half. InshaAllah whatever we can pray will be greatly rewarded and here is how 









The response, in its innocence, seems as equally superficial.
a wooden baseball bat over his knee when he got angry. About how it felt to snap a dried tree branch that had fallen in my backyard under my sneaker. About splinters. And then came the staff of Mousa – redefining timber: Turning the hearts of men, sparking a revolution, overthrowing a tyrant… O yea, and that whole splitting seas business.






